Good News: You can solve your own problems (and we can help).
July 30, 2022
July 30, 2022
You are unique. Your ideas, your viewpoint, and your humour are entirely your own. Who knows you better than you? The joke’s on us if we don’t always pick up on your intended whimsy.
You know what else is unique? Your problems. And…who knows your problems better than you? As much as anyone else can try to peel back the layers around them, ultimately they are limited to looking in from the outside and are bound to miss some of the subtler things at play (perhaps similar to when they miss the punchline to your clever joke).
But problems sure aren’t funny when we’re going through them. That’s the bad news; the good news is that this intimacy with the issues at hand means you are also the one who is in the best position to solve them.
It’s hard to talk about what we offer here at Mediation Services without talking about why we offer it, because the why is what drives us to show up day after day. One of the foundational beliefs that drive the programming we develop is: You can solve your own problems.
Problems can take on a looming nature if we aren’t well equipped to deal with them; they can cast a shadow on us and our outlook. Yet, you are always capable of more than you were yesterday and with the right resources you can stand tall to face conflict when it rises up to greet you.
We believe in you, and that’s why we’re here.
One of the greatest gifts you can give anyone is empowerment to solve their own problems. In fact, you are uniquely capable of this because you’re the one who is fully in your situation. In the midst of conflict, you know best what is important to you.
Though, it’s not all about you. To accept that we have power to act also means to accept responsibility for our actions, which can be rather humbling.
We are simultaneously sovereign individuals and inextricably interconnected to those around us; two facts that can be tough to grapple with concurrently when we’re stuck firmly in our own perspective. Sooner or later, friction naturally arises with others and there is a personal responsibility to that. We do, after all, play an active role in our relationships.
In other words: if it is harmony that we are pursuing, we can’t force our will upon others without consideration of them too. It requires a bit more softness and a little less judgement, on both sides of the tough conversations that need to be had.
It’s also important to note that we need to be careful to not accept responsibility for others. While we have a certain liability with regards to our own actions, this is not the case with others whom we cannot control. And it follows that trying to control the uncontrollable is a futile task that does not end anywhere useful.
But relationships can be messy, and the lines delineating appropriate responsibility can be difficult to spot when we’re stuck in the midst of it. This is where a mediator can be especially helpful; to give clarity to the conversation, avoid further escalation, and pursue resolution.
This can take place on many levels, from learning mediation basics online in our Introduction to Conflict Resolution: Dealing with Difficult People to pursuing restorative justice outside of the court system. We strongly believe that you have the power to solve your own problems and are here to empower you to do so no matter where you may be experiencing conflict in your life.
Taking responsibility is hard, but when we can own what we’ve done it follows that we can figure out how to be better in the future. In looking closely at what we might have otherwise swept under the rug, we have the opportunity to clean things up and move onwards; with a special sort of gratification that comes with figuring things out for ourselves.