New Year’s Resolutions: A recipe for success.
January 16, 2025
January 16, 2025
New year, new you – at least, that’s how the marketing goes.
It’s tempting to make a noble wish for big change. And doing so is useful for orienting in the direction we want to go – sometimes continuing on with our personal mission statement, and other times deciding to pivot in a new direction.
But, it’s important to note, drastic changes rarely happen overnight. Who we were on December 31st doesn’t get left behind when we flip the calendar to January and so we need to work with the complexity that is the present, even when we step boldly into the future.
Research that looks closer at New Year’s resolutions paints a picture of how they tend to play out:
Resolve drops off precipitously over time – so let’s sigh a collective breath of relief in realizing that we’re not alone in the struggle. But that doesn’t mean that resolutions are a bad thing, because those who made resolutions (resolvers) reported higher success at the six-month mark than non-resolvers interested in changing a similar problem (46% versus 4%).
We can develop helpful habits in the resolution process that improve our chances of reaching our goals.
One of the most striking findings is this: how we frame our resolutions dramatically impacts our success. People who set approach-oriented goals (“I will eat more vegetables”) achieved a higher success rate than those with avoidance-oriented goals (“I will stop eating junk food”).
Phrasing the goal as a positive statement, instead of a negative one, makes it easier for the brain to comprehend. It gives us an action to latch on to, which gets us closer to actually doing said positive action.
Another important element is accountability. Reporting on our progress greatly increases our chances at goal-oriented success. However, there is a fine balance when calling in external support: routine check-ins and shared guidance can feel better than going it alone, but excessive structure can result in the sense that someone is breathing down our neck. Too much pressure becomes counterproductive and feeling ashamed about setbacks can lead us to give up. In this regard, each of us needs to figure out the sweet spot that makes the most sense for who we are.
One common resolution we see at Mediation Services is to improve personal relationships that are stuck in some aspect of struggle. A family feud, a fading friendship, or neighbours literally divided by a fence and the disagreement around its existence….relationships take work and facing the conflict inherent to them benefits from bolstered commitment at any time of the year.
With this in mind, here are some practical strategies for your conflict resolution resolutions:
Success in maintaining resolutions goes beyond the specific goal that drives us. Being intentional about our approach helps to break out of procrastination tendencies. Having adequate structure in the process helps to break out of the willpower myth – where instead of waiting to be blessed with the right mood / muse / motivation, we simply begin.
Whatever the result, rather than viewing resolutions as pass/fail challenges, it’s healthy to consider them as opportunities for incremental improvement. When we look back at the turn of next year, chances are we’ll see growth on the far side of all the stepping stones it took to get there.