Holiday Prep Guide: How to survive holiday squabbles.
December 16, 2025
When we think about prepping for the holidays, we probably think of grocery lists, gifts, and fitting everything into the schedule. But it’s also important to remember to prep for the people we’re about to spend time with!
As we head into the holiday season, when we gather with our distant connections (family, friends, and foes alike) there might be some friction between us. Belief systems and lifestyles don’t always align, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy dinner together!
It is important to remember that a lot can happen in a year. When we don’t see someone for a while, it’s worth reminding ourselves that the person in front of us might not match the “snapshot” we have of them in our memory. Just like we allow ourselves to grow and change, it only makes sense to extend this grace to others.
That said, a table of plenty can all-too-easily be overshadowed by a cloud of conflicting opinions. These conflicts tend to be either grounded in the past (previous conflict) or the future (differing beliefs) – either of which potentially sabotage the present.
In tense moments, let’s reflect on what we actually have control over (notably: not others!) and fall back on these tips from the Mediation Services team.
How to Survive Holiday Squabbles – our best advice!
- Be curious: Try to discover the intentions of your relatives before you judge them.
- Focus on the present: Don’t drag in what so-and-so did last Christmas. Don’t worry about what so-and-so might do.
- Acknowledge your needs: Avoiding an issue or overaccommodating others will spoil your holiday fun.
- Take a time out: If family time is getting too intense, take a breather to look at the big picture.
- Identify the deeper issue: Don’t make it about tree lights if it’s about who controls decorating.
- Be open and clear: Relatives won’t know where you are coming from if you don’t tell them.
- Address values and needs: Assure loved ones you are not threatening their special holiday.
- Agree: Identify shared interests, acknowledge or agree where you can.
- Explore Options: Once the problem is understood, propose solutions that meets everybody’s needs.
- REMEMBER: Relationship is more important than winning.
We also highly recommend re-reading our previous article on how to be a good guest, but as a little TLDR for your busy schedule here are the pertinent takeaway questions to consider before opening your mouth to speak.
Consider these questions before engaging:
- Is it true?
- Is it kind?
- Is it beneficial?
- Is it necessary?
- Is it the right time?
Wishing you the best,
– The whole team at Mediation Services