Catastrophizing: A self-fulfilling prophecy.

“The sky is falling!” goes the famous exclamation from the European folk tale Chicken Little. When an acorn falls on Henny Penny’s head, the chick jumps to this most extreme conclusion and goes on a journey to tell the king. Along the way, he meets many animals who join in his quest…which probably should have included humans because we are prone to catastrophizing in the very same way.

This story remains relevant because it illustrates how quickly minor setbacks or misinterpretations can become perceived disasters, leading to panic and overreaction. Catastrophic thinking can spread and escalate when others join in the hysteria – whether in make-believe, in the office, or in the amplifying force of social media. As such, it highlights the importance of addressing such thinking early before it gets out of hand.

Catastrophizing is imagining the worst. It’s taking a difficult situation and interpreting it as being horrible, terrible, and unrecoverable. It often starts with a genuine setback, like an acorn falling on the head or a disagreement at work, but then the thinking mind spins it into the belief that something horrible is bound to happen – “The sky is falling!” or “My career is over!”

At its root, catastrophizing is about our habitual response to challenges or shortcomings – a cognitive distortion that is the result of some past hardships, painful rejections, and failures. From these difficult experiences we trick ourselves into thinking, “If I can expect the worst, I can prevent it.” In reality, usually the exact opposite happens.

With conflict, a minor disagreement can become a worst-case scenario when fanned by the flames of catastrophizing.

Consider this workplace example:

Your coworker disagrees with your approach during a team meeting. Instead of seeing this as a normal professional difference of opinion, your mind rapidly escalates the situation.

Initial Thought: My coworker challenged my idea in the meeting.

Catastrophic Progression:

1. They must think I’m completely incompetent.
2. Everyone else probably agrees with them.
3. I’ll lose all credibility with the team.
4. I’ll never get promoted.
5. I might even get fired.
6. My career is essentially over.

And just like that, a career is over with a single challenge. But is it actually?

Taking a step back, we can admit that we aren’t at step 6 quite yet. However, what do you think will happen if we react with the anticipation of this worst-case scenario?

If we enter a discussion expecting hostility, we typically approach it with defensive or aggressive behaviour, which then provokes the very negative response we feared. This is a major factor in conflict management and mediation in general, and is explored further in the strategies presented in our Dealing with Defensiveness and Building a Respectful Workplace webinars (among others).

When we unwittingly find ourselves at step 6, the problem seems so big that the question frantically becomes, “What can I do!?”

Let’s slow down.

First, understand how this pattern of catastrophic thinking affects how you might address conflict (which naturally arises because difference is a part of life):

1. Emotional Escalation: When we catastrophize, we become trapped in a cycle of anxiety and fear, making it impossible to approach conflicts rationally. This heightened emotional state leads to defensive behaviour and poor communication choices.
2. Relationship Damage: The tendency to assume the worst possible outcomes can create unnecessary tension in professional relationships. When we catastrophize, we often become overly controlling or defensive, which stifles the open dialogue needed for effective conflict resolution.
3. Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: When we expect the worst in conflict situations, we often inadvertently create it. If we enter a discussion expecting hostility, we typically approach it with defensive or aggressive behaviour, which then provokes the very negative response we feared.

Instead of viewing catastrophic thoughts as predictions of the future, we need to remember that we’ve had these thoughts before and survived similar situations. Stay focused on the current conflict rather than the imagined negative outcomes. Instead of “This conflict will destroy our relationship” think “This is a disagreement we can work through.”

Next steps usually involve a direct conversation. To discourage defensiveness in others, stay focused on the core issue. If the conversation does stray into the catastrophizing “what ifs”, redirect the conversation back to the actual issue at hand – gently. Use acknowledgment statements first, then guide the discussion back to the current situation actually faced.

Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure out everything all at once. But by focusing energy on small actionables, we can find steps forward (stay tuned for more on this in a coming blog article).

Seeing the worst often invites the worst. Not only do we cut ourselves off from opportunities, we invite the exact problems we’re hoping to avoid. Fortunately, with a little bit of effort, our worst dreams are a fate that is far from sealed.